As the darkness descends and I move with increasing speed towards the light, yours truly has been checking his contacts list for life lines.
Sky TV won’t help me as I am an international market trader in their second hand remotes (batteries not included). As their Bombay rep said, they only deal in originals (with batteries).
After dismissing those who are either in prison, have died, reside in mental institutions or have had their numbers changed due to harassment issues, I have finally found a life line.
My port (Sandemans, treble) in any storm is none other than a pubic (sorry, that should read public) appeal to that vixen Karen Allen (down tiger), prospective MP for South Shields.
Let it be known, The Posh is in favour of female Councillor’s, MP’s and election officers – they make excellent cups of tea, make great decisions when it comes to wall paper, and frankly, I love poking the fire in a familiar election office (sorry that should read environment).
All I ask in return for my support at the next election (including delivering leaflets, pounding the streets and knocking on doors) is that she publicly endorses me on her website within the next 3 days!
Help me Kaz (sob, sob, tears, tears) cast aside all my faults and all you have heard about me (OK, just what can be proved) .
I am but a man!
In return I will devote all my political experience and energy to your cause.
The clock is ticking.
Over to you KA (down tiger).
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