SHARP EXIT

Why, oh why, oh why, do I have to keep justifying my every move?

Where were you on Remembrance Sunday?
Why didn’t you go to that meeting?
Why don’t you answer your ward members letters and telephone calls?
Why don’t you put batteries in your second hand Sky remotes?

It just goes on, and on, and on.

Sometimes I think the public would be happier if I was tagged, placed on a curfew and made to sleep in Fenwick’s window.

The latest “Spot The Posh” quiz question centres on my sharp exit at last weeks full council meeting.

For the record, I view my council attendances strictly on a “pay as you go” basis – you pay, I go! I acknowledge that whilst some very important issues still remained on the agenda for discussion, I had far, far better things to do (and I am not referring to locating a certain missing wreath).

Perhaps some people have missed the real issue when looking at the speed of my departure (I was able to get to the bar in 3 minutes flat, a council record). Without my extensive political knowledge, acumen and moral guidance, Stinker Milburn (grrrr) made a bit of a mule of himself. With McWoody otherwise engaged planning out his paper round and without yours truly to tell him when to put his hand up, the noggin went and voted with the opposition!

It is sound and well heeled knowledge that it is national Conservative Party policy to abolish the Standards Board. Stinker (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) voted to keep the bally thing. In his defence the chump thought he was putting his hand up to book a seat in the mayor’s car for the long journey home to The Cottage, but surely the country bumpkin should have realized that his name is always first on the list when it comes to a free ride home!

There are certain things in life which will never happen - the sea will never be parted, pigs will never fly and I will never travel second class when the public is paying. However, miracles do happen and Stinker (grrrr) could be elected to represent the good people of Jarrow. Sadly, Gordon Brown has nothing to fear. All he needs to do is spin Stinker (grrrr) around in a circle, shout “taxi”, and watch him vote with Labour!