DAVID POSH: Morning Diddy, I have looked into the issue of me being an MP in Scotland, and yes I can confirm that I have been selected to stand in Edinburgh South West. However, I’ve never been there because you can’t claim attendance expenses. I do however, think that I have a very good chance of being elected.
MC DJ DIDDY: That’s hardly true Posh because they have deselected you for non attendance.
DAVID POSH: They’ve what? Why those ginger haired, yellow bellied, porridge eating, skirt wearing, alcoholic, persistent world cup football non attendees and Loch Ness monster believers! How dare they kick me in the McGorbals and leave me to wallow in Tennents Super Strength Lager.
Phone slams down. Ten Minutes later Posh rings Diddy back.
DAVID POSH: Dear Diddy, my friend, my confidant, I must apologise for that little outburst. The news came as a bit of a shock to me. As I have never attended any meetings how was I to know they were going to stab me in the Trossacks and kick the wind out of my bag pipes? On reflection however, I do recall resigning from the seat just after I was nominated, and I have prepared this retrospective statement. Let me sip on my special water first. Here we go - write this down Diddy, word for word:
“It is with deep regret, that I, David Posh, must resign from the position of prospective parliamentary candidate for the constituency of Edinburgh South something (sob, sob, sob). Over the last few minutes (waw, waw, waw) it has occurred to me that the BNP is becoming more active in South Tyneside (boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo). I will therefore forego my definite victory in Edinland West, and concentrate on tackling these awful, awful people who are active on my own doorstep. I will devote as much attention to tackling the BNP in South Tyneside as I did to winning the seat in Scotburgh North (sob, sob, wail, wail, waw, waw, waw).”
Did you get all that Diddy? As you can see, I wasn’t deselected; I resigned (sob, sob, sob)
MC DJ DIDDY: I am sure the Scot’s have a different view Posh. Never mind though, you are clearly to upset about the issue to discuss it any further.
DAVID POSH: (sob, sob, sob) Upset about Scotland? I couldn’t give a flying hairy haggis about those ginger loonies (waw, waw, waw, boo hoo) No Diddy, you’ve got it all wrong – I knocked my treble gin over while I was reading out my statement!
http://curly15.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/potts-in-hot-water/
http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/guide/seat-profiles/edinburghsouthwest?cp=3
READ THE COMMENT BY JUSTIN HINCHCLIFFE
http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/conservativeparty/Tory-activists--to-ditch.4471315.jp
No comments:
Post a Comment