Sunday 20 September 2009

DO YOU WANT TO BE IN MY GANG?


I have spent today reviewing my forthcoming council commitments. My views on the democratic process are most admirable and based on an old Greek proverb:

“One cannot show one's face too much when it comes to the public.”

We can’t have the work shy fops of my ward getting to used to yours truly's chiselled good looks on a regular basis, now can we? I have therefore decided to “limit” my public appearances to as few as possible, thereby creating an air of the old “Scarlet Pimpernel”.

However, some dates cannot be avoided and the 22nd October is giving me a right royal dose of the back door trots. Give that day a wide berth fellow punters, because that’s when Biffa Branley returns to the Chamber. Biffa and I have what Aunt Fanny refers to as “history”. Whilst the last time we met is something of a blur (the fog being mainly down to a few dry Martini’s) I do remember that the bounder acted like I was a leper!

Let me forewarn you readers, October will be different. For a start the weapon of choice will be Pimm’s No. 2 Cup. I will also have my “gang” with me. Stinker Milburn has promised that he might turn up, and McWoody has promised not to do his paper round that week. What a triumvirate we shall make, even if Stinker can’t make it.

As Shakespeare or somebody else once said, “Prepare ye for battle, and if all else fails, don’t turn up”.

The Posh family motto!

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