POLITICS IS A DIRTY BUSINESS

As my old chum Cheesey Muldoon used to say, “Posh, you’re a dip stick”, but then he would say “Politics is a dirty business, people get used, but you have to play dirty to win”.

I have always stuck to that dictum and when necessary, I have played dirty.

Take for instance my latest spat with Pongo Khan (he makes me so angry!). Basically the man won’t leave me alone. All I want to do is go along my merry little way, not attending council meetings, collecting my expenses for being idle and generally make outrageous and unfounded accusations about him – but the bounder won’t let me!

Lately, the cad’s actions have really ruffled my thinning gander to such a degree that I have had to start playing “dirty”.

Step forward my good friend, fellow market trader (but not a dealer in second hand Sky remotes, batteries not included) and political stool pigeon, Paul Penfold.

Paul has always been a great fan of that great fighter of crime, “Danger Mouse”. Such is his love of the big eared rodent, that he had his surname changed by deed pole to reflect DM’s side kick.

Penfold has been a great friend of mine for……well, it must be several weeks now. Whilst we have never actually met (well, we have met on Twitter. Consider it somewhat akin to internet dating), Paul has agreed to join my gang and have a poke at Pongo Khan (he makes me so angry!). In fact that’s how we shall be known – the “Lets Poke Pongo Gang” – membership 2!

Sadly, this is where the dirty bit comes in. Penfold is totally ignorant of my political baggage. He has no idea that I have a total disrespect for my ward members, he actually thinks I go to meetings and he is ignorant of the “profit margin” that I employ when it comes to claiming expenses. He is so gullible that he even thinks I have hair as long as Curtis Stigers!

However, he is daft enough to do what I tell him. Not only that, if anything should actually hit the fan, he will get covered, not me.

In other words, I am Danger Mouse, and he is the dippy side kick, Penfold.

Politics really is a dirty business, and people do get used.

But I’m polytetrafluorethylene coated!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teflon_(nickname)